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Software Vault: The Gold Collection
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ISSUE131
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┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐│
││ ISSUE #131 - May 24th 1993 ││
│└───────▄█████▄▄▄▄▄▄─────────────────────────────────────██▄───────────────┘│
│ ▄██▌ ▐█████████████████████▄▄ ▄▄███▀ │
│ ████▌▐████▌ ▐█████████████████▄▄▄▄ ▄█████▄ │
│ █████▌ ▐██▌▐████▌ ▐██████████████▄ ▄██ ▄▄██████▀ │
│ █████▌▐████▌ ▐██▌▐████▌ ▐█████████▄████ ▄██████ │
│ █████▌ ▐█▌▐████▌ ▐██▌▐████▌▐██ ▐███████▄███████ │
│ ███████████▌ ▐█▌▐████▌ ▐██▌▐█ ▐██▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀██ ┌──────────────────┐│
│ ████████████████▌ ▐█▌▐████▌ ▐███ BITS!(tm) ██ │ On More Than 400 ││
│ █████████████████████▌ ▐█▌▐█ ▐██▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄█▀ │ Registered BBSes ││
│ ██████████████████████████▌▐██ ▐████████████▀ │ in 41 States and ││
│ ▀████████████████████████████████████████▀ │ 15 countries...! ││
│ ▀▀▀███████████████████████████████████ └──────────────────┘│
│ ▀▀▀███████████████████████████████▄───────────────────────┐│
│ ▀████████████████ ▀▀ ▀██▄ 310-371-3734 12-9600 ││
│ ╔════════════════════╗ ▀▀ ▀█████▀ ▀▀ ███▄ 310-370-9464 3-2400 ││
│ ║ Brought To You By: ║ ███ (c) 1993 ▀██ Eeeek Publishing Co. ││
│ ║ Your SysOps & ║ │ Eeeek Publishing Co. P.O. Box 331 ││
│ ║ Eeeek Publishing ║ │ ALL RIGHTS Manhattan Beach, CA ││
│ ╚════════════════════╝ │ RESERVED 90266 ││
│ └────────────────────────────────────────────┘│
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ This publication is protected by all U.S. & International Copyright Laws! │
│ NO Part may be changed or reproduced w/o express written permission from │
│ The Publishers! Eeeeks is FREE, BUT YOU MUST REGISTER to have it on a BBS! │
│ You may NOT upload it to any BBS on a regular basis without the express │
│ written permission of the Publishers. Eeeek BITS! is NOT PD or Shareware │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ In order to Register: Call Beyond Eternity at the # above & fill out │
│ "O" at the main menu, OR EAST COAST CALLERS MAY CALL OUR EAST-COAST │
│ DISTRIBUTOR, U.S. Datanet at (617)-868-2965. OR you may write us via │
│ US Mail, include your: BBS NAME, PHONE, APPX # OF USERS, # OF LINES, │
│ MAX BAUD, STORAGE CAPACITY, SYSOP REAL NAME, PHONE, ADDRESS, SOFTWARE │
│ RUNNING, WHERE YOU SAW & WHERE YOU'LL RETRIEVE EEEEK BITS! You May │
│ also register for Datanet Computer News (ALSO FREE) in these ways. │
│ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ═══════════════════════════════════════════════│
│ █ ┌───────────────────┐ █ Beyond Eternity BBS, Contact The Editor #5 │
│ █ │ (c)1993 │ █ (310)-371-3734 12/24/9600 or 370-9464 3/12/2400│
│ █ │Eeeek Publishing Co│ █ ═══════════════════════════════════════════════│
│ █ │ │ █ Eeeek Publishing Co │
│ █ │(Taghadossi/Black) │ █ PO Box 331 Manhattan Bch,CA 90266 │
│ █ │ALL RIGHTS RESERVED│ █ ═══════════════════════════════════════════════│
│ █ └───────────────────┘ █ "Keep On Eeeeking!" (Philip Fultz) │
│ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ ═══════════════════════════════════════════════│
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Little Known Facts...........Page 4 The Code Of Love.............Page 30 │
│ HeadLine BITS!...............Page 5 TV Trivials..................Page 33 │
│ First Things First...........Page 6 The Joker's Lair 2...........Page 34 │
│ Behind The HeadLines.........Page 7 WeIrD nEwS...................Page 35 │
│ Mind Games 1993..............Page 10 Interesting Origins..........Page 36 │
│ Whatta Coinky Dinky!.........Page 11 Numerology...................Page 37 │
│ Presidential Facts...........Page 12 Great One-Liners.............Page 38 │
│ Horoscopes By Manfred........Page 13 UNpredictables...............Page 41 │
│ The Joker's Lair 1...........Page 19 Quotes 'N' Notes 2...........Page 42 │
│ Quotes 'N' Notes 1...........Page 20 Quick Quiz...................Page 43 │
│ Daily Statistics.............Page 21 Signs Of The Times...........Page 52 │
│ State of The Union...........Page 22 Bodily Functions.............Page 53 │
│ Idiot Savants................Page 27 Dimensions In The Dark.......Page 57 │
│ Be PercentageWISE............Page 28 Team Eeeek - Continued.......Page 62 │
│ Oh SWIFT! BITS!..............Page 29 Strrrrrrrange BITS!..........Page 67 │
│┌────────────┐┌─────────────────────┐┌──────────────────────┐┌────────────┐ │
││ CHAT BBS! ││AVATAR ONLINE SYSTEMS││▀▀▀ WESTSIDE BBS! ▀▀▀││ TOP CITY │ │
││ A Friendly ││ (818)-969-8227 N81 ││ 60+ Phone Lines... ││ BBS │ │
││ Place In ││ Professionl Tutors ││ ASP Member! ││ SysOp: │ │
││ Cyberspace!││32 Lines, Family BBS ││SysOps: Dave 1, Walt 2││ RamSoft 1 │ │
││612-560-1770││ 2 FREE WEEKS TRIAL! ││Call: (213)-933-4050 ││612-225-1003│ │
│└────────────┘└─────────────────────┘└──────────────────────┘└────────────┘ │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Little Known Facts │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ On the average day in the U.S. (according to The National Center for Health│
│ Statistics,) 6,567 couples are married, and 3,197 couples are divorced! │
│ Your risk of being robbed is the greatest in Washington DC, where the risk │
│ is approximately DOUBLE that of California! │
│ The flu, Influenza kills about 70,000 Americans every year. │
│ 12% of the top executives in America never went to college. │
│ 1 in every 3 Americans is making less than $5.00 per hour. │
│ According to a recent Gallup Poll, most women think men desire a thin lady,│
│ but the men actually want a more average weight woman. │
│ For 186 days each year, the sun is not seen at the North Pole. │
│ The words "naked" and "nude" are NOT the same; Naked implies unprotected, │
│ while Nude means unclothed. │
│ N.Y. was the first state to require licensing of cars, in 1901. │
│ In 1915 the average family income in the US was $687 per year. │
│ No one knows where Mozart is buried. │
│ A thousand TONS of meteor dust falls to Earth every day. │
│ If all the blood vessels in a single human body were stretched end to end, │
│ they would form a rope capable of going around the world. │
│ Spiders, believe it or not, have blood which is transparent. │
│ In San Salvador, drunk drivers are punished by death...a firing squad. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ HeadLine BITS! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ * An Ad: Beautiful wedding dress, never used, fits 7-9, $200/OBO; wanted │
│ maternity clothes, 8XX-XXXX Betty │
│ * Ad: Sexually aggressive teen-age girls Best gifts for men │
│ * Ss. Peter And Paul To Show Pornography Film │
│ * Wisconsin Bill Would Permit Blind To Hunt Deer │
│ * Crappie Derby Set For March │
│ * Some Pieces Of Rock Hudson Sold At Auction │
│ * Fort Collins Fails In Quest For Bigger Dot On Map │
│ * 4-H Cow Pie Bingo To Be Held At Kittson County Fair │
│ * Woman Scolded For Killing Husband │
│ * Wife Regrets Staying With Man She Killed │
│ * Man Discovers He Left Wife At Local Station │
│ * Wedding announcement: Last-Fling To Marry │
│ * Wedding announcement: Hogg to marry Hamm │
│ * Wedding announcement: Wong-Wright Announced Wedding Plans │
│ * Tax collectors Decide To Leave Dead Man Alone │
│ * Dead Man Remains Dead │
│ * Dead Man Gets Job Back │
│ * Dead Man Still Goes Duck Hunting With Pal │
│ * Dead Man Found In Cemetery │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ First Things First! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ THE FIRST: │
│ College was Harvard, founded in 1636! │
│ Public school, Boston Latin School, founded 1635. │
│ Woman doctor of medicine, Elizabeth Blackwell, N.Y. 1849 │
│ Skyscraper was the Home Insurance Co., Chicago 1885 (10 floors) │
│ Electrocution of a prisoner was 8/6/1890 - William Kemmler in N.Y.│
│ Postage stamps were issued in 1847. │
│ Bank established was the Bank of North America, Penn 1781. │
│ Subway was opened in Boston in 1897. │
│ 5 & 10¢ store was Woolworth's, in 1879, Utica N.Y. │
│ Vaudville Theatre was the Gaiety Museum, Boston 1883. │
│ Woman to walk in space was Dr.Katheryn Sullivan in 1984 │
│ Woman to ride in space was Dr. Sally Ride in 1983 │
│ Steam heated building was the Eastern Hotel in Boston, in 1845. │
│ Circulating Library was in Philadelphia, Penn in 1731 │
│ Color cartoon was "The Yellow Kid" in New York World in 1895 │
│ Commercial oil well was in Titusville, PA in 1859 │
│ Science museum was in South Carolina in 1773 │
│ State to abolish capital punishment was Michigan in 1847 │
│ Woman graduate of law school was Ada Kepley, Chicago in 1870. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Behind The HeadLines! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ HeadLine: I Hear It, But No One Is There! │
│ │
│ Story: A woman in England found a great relief after a visit with her doc-│
│ tor. Her story began with the hearing of footsteps behind her as │
│ she walked down the uncarpeted hallway in her house; but when she │
│ turned around to look, no one was there. Then she actually began │
│ hearing a heart beat. When she visited her doctor she found out │
│ she had been wearing her hearing aid backwards and the footsteps & │
│ heart beat where her own, not some ghost's. │
│ │
│ HeadLine: The Alien Invasion Has Begun, Or Has It? │
│ │
│ Story: In a small town in Texas the citizens were frightened by the │
│ appearance mysterious purple blobs that showed up on the ground │
│ the morning after a meteorite shower. The U.S. AirForce sent out │
│ space officials to investigate. A few days later the people of the│
│ town, all certain they had been invaded by an alien lifeform, found│
│ out they had nothing to be concerned about. The Museum of Science │
│ and History informed them that the purple blobs were nothing more │
│ than leftovers from a battery reprocessing plant. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ How much would YOU pay (or DID you pay?) for this system? │
│ --------------------------------------------------------- │
│ 386-33 SX SYSTEM: │
│ --------------------------------------------------------- │
│ │
│ Complete with... MC/Visa ACCEPTED! │
│ We'll Ship in 48 States! │
│ 4 Meg RAM (SIMMS) (Shipping Charges Extra) │
│ Teac 5.25" diskette drive ╔═══════════╗ │
│ Teac 3.50" diskette drive ║ ┌───────┐ ║ │
│ Super I/O+IDE 2/2 HDD/FDD Controller Card ║ │ 386-SX│∞║ │
│ Conner 121 MB Hard Drive ║ │ 33MHz │∞║ │
│ 1024x768 .39 SVGA monitor ║ └───────┘ ║ │
│ Trident 8900 SVGA Card w/1 MB ╚══╤═════╤══╝ │
│ Mini Tower case w/200W Power Supply ┌─────┐╒══╧═════╧══╕ │
│ 101 Enhanced Keyboard │∞∞∞∞∞││ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ │ │
│ 3 Button Mouse ┌┴─────┴┴──────────┬┴──────┐ │
│ DOS loaded │ ■■■ │ ───── │ │
│ 1 full year parts & labor warranty! │ ║║║║║║║║║║ │~~~~~~~│ │
│ └──────────────────┴───────┘ │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ IF YOU PAID MORE THAN $1050.03 You Didn't Call Eeeek BYTES! (310)-371-4260 │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ How much would YOU pay (or DID you pay?) for this system? │
│ --------------------------------------------------------- │
│ 486-33 DX SYSTEM: │
│ --------------------------------------------------------- │
│ Complete with... │
│ INTEL CPU MC/Visa ACCEPTED! │
│ 256K Cache Memory We'll Ship in 48 States! │
│ 4 Meg RAM (SIMMS) (Shipping Charges Extra) │
│ Teac 5.25" diskette drive ╔═══════════╗ │
│ Teac 3.50" diskette drive ║ ┌───────┐ ║ │
│ Super I/O+IDE 2/2 HDD/FDD Controller Card ║ │ 486-DX│∞║ │
│ Conner 121 MB Hard Drive ║ │ 33MHz │∞║ │
│ 1024x768 .39 SVGA monitor ║ └───────┘ ║ │
│ Trident 8900 SVGA Card w/1 MB ╚══╤═════╤══╝ │
│ Mini Tower case w/200W Power Supply ┌─────┐╒══╧═════╧══╕ │
│ 101 Enhanced Keyboard │∞∞∞∞∞││ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ │ │
│ 3 Button Mouse ┌┴─────┴┴──────────┬┴──────┐ │
│ DOS loaded │ ■■■ │ ───── │ │
│ 1 full year parts & labor warranty! │ ║║║║║║║║║║ │~~~~~~~│ │
│ └──────────────────┴───────┘ │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ IF YOU PAID MORE THAN $1445.14 You Didn't Call Eeeek BYTES! (310)-371-4260 │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Mind Games 1993! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ NOTES │
│ X F D O P E R A C T K F R Y X X V K SCALE ┌────────────────────┐ │
│ D E K P L K H H H G N T Z E W Q R N CLEF │ This Week: │ │
│ P L A U I A S O N G J U A R S O O U STAFF │ │ │
│ U C E N H N T H J P Y G G E G T C L SONG │ These are things │ │
│ A S D K H V T N W F X T N I B S K A LYRICS │ Having to do with: │ │
│ T C I E R F B W E L J F Z J C N K C REST │ ------------- │ │
│ H I O L L F N W M M F F E G S Q V I SONNET │ M U S I C │ │
│ Y R A C H A W G D U U X V E T S N S OPERA │ ------------- │ │
│ J Y K T S V C B D N Q R S X A Y J S BLUES │ How Many of Them │ │
│ Q L K Z D I L S G J Z P T M F W A A JAZZ │ Can YOU find...? │ │
│ H N Z S Y S D W E F E S Z S F O Z L ROCK └────────────────────┘ │
│ E P K E N I C W A Z S F O B N B Z C DISCO │
│ T D R U O M T F B E D G Y N R I C K CLASSICAL ┌────────────────┐ │
│ T D C L H Y G S T E Q B H J N B N W PUNK │ COMING IN JUNE │ │
│ P S F B P R H O B D B P A H L E S L BEAT │ -------------- │ │
│ U U B S M U N V K J B T C I P A T F ORCHESTRA │ Watch For The │ │
│ J O R Z Y A R T S E H C R O N F H H SYMPHONY │ BIG Eeeekle! │ │
│ X D D I S A A Z T O O M D N A B R D BAND └────────────────┘ │
│ INSTRUMENTAL │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Whatta Coinky Dinky! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ │
│ THE BULLET THAT FINALLY FOUND ITS MARK! │
│ In 1893, Henry Ziegland of Honey Grove, Texas, jilted his sweetie │
│ who then committed suicide. Her brother, in an effort to avenge her death, │
│ shot Ziegland...but the bullet only grazed his face and then buried itself │
│ within the trunk of a tree. The brother, thinking he had killed Ziegland, │
│ committed suicide himself. In 1913, Ziegland was cutting down the tree │
│ with the bullet in it - it was a tough job so he used dynamite, and the │
│ explosion sent the old bullet through the tree and then through Ziegland's │
│ head - killing him, at last. │
│ │
│ TIES BEYOND TIME AND PLACE! │
│ In 1953, Irving Kupcinet, Chicago Sun-Times columnist, checked into │
│ the Savoy Hotel in London to cover the coronation of Queen Elizabeth. He │
│ opened a drawer in his room, and found some personal belongings of an old │
│ friend of his, Harry Hannin of The Harlem Globetrotters. Two days later, │
│ Hannin sent a letter to Kupcinet from The Hotel Meurice, in Paris. Hannin │
│ wrote, "you'll never believe this, but I've just opened a drawer here and │
│ found a tie with your name on it." Kupcinet had stayed in that particular │
│ hotel room a few months earlier! │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Little Known Facts About the Presidents! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ * James A. Garfield was the first man to become president who had been a │
│ minister prior to being elected. │
│ * James Garfield was the first president to campaign using more than one │
│ language to campaign. │
│ * Chester A. Arthur was challenged as to his citizenship and ability to │
│ hold office as president. Many believed he was born in Canada. │
│ * Grover Cleveland's real first name was Stephen. │
│ * Benjamin Harrison had the nickname of "His Hirsute Highness." │
│ * William McKinley had the campaign theme of "Full Dinner Pail." │
│ * Theodore Roosevelt was the first president to visit a foreign country │
│ while in office. │
│ * William Howard Taft was the first president to hold office over 48 states│
│ * Woodrow Wilson was the first president to earn a Ph.D │
│ * Woodrow Wilson also was the first president to have two daughters married│
│ in the White House. │
│ * Warren Harding, middle name Gamaliel, had a cabinet that was nicknamed │
│ "Poker Cabinet." │
│ * Calvin Coolidge, first name really was John, was the first president to │
│ be sworn in by his father. │
│ * Dwight D. Eisenhower was the 1st president to appear on color television │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Horoscopes By Manfred! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ │
│ Aries [Mar 21 - Apr 19] Attraction between you and another intensifies. │
│ This may be the big week for you! Words may have to be said to a friend or │
│ roommate, just keep calm & it'll be ok! Scenario highlights love and │
│ romance! Pisces can be counted upon! │
│ │
│ Taurus [Apr 20 - May 20] Emphasis on security, financial settlement, basic │
│ values. Something missing in a relationship will now show up! The new │
│ spotlight focuses on purchases, financial benefits, and the completion │
│ of a task that's been on your nerves. Aquarius very involved. │
│ │
│ Gemini [May 21 - June 20] Expect the unexpected now. You'll find that │
│ you have a new lease on romance. Highlights are trips/visits and even │
│ possibly a surprise this week. Pisces is in picture. │
│ │
│ Cancer [June 21 - July 22] Someone who has very strong feelings for you │
│ confesses! A secret rendezvous could put a smile on your face for a very │
│ lonnnnng time. Focus on physical attraction, sensuality, creativity, │
│ variety this week. Leo will be involved. │
│ │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Horoscopes By Manfred! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ │
│ Leo [July 23 - Aug 22] Focus on your uniqueness and creativity! Your │
│ search for love waits down the road a bit. Be Patient! Travel should be │
│ avoided at all costs. Sagittarius has something important to say! │
│ │
│ Virgo [Aug 23 - Sept 22] A transaction that you've been waiting for will │
│ finally be completed, and it will exceed your wildest dream. Focus on │
│ physical attraction, sensuality, creativity, variety this week. Be │
│ discreet, no sense taking chances with things which may be harmful. Leo │
│ very involved. │
│ │
│ Libra [Sept 23 - Oct 22] Business may flow over into evening hours.... │
│ Romantic adjustment featured. Creativity highlights the days, Romance in │
│ some of the evening hours! Cancer wants something from you now. │
│ │
│ Scorpio [Oct 23 - Nov 21] Sending flowers or a small gift to a love is a │
│ great idea! Love is in the air & a woman finds you appealing! Your │
│ sex-appeal is high now & you'll be almost irresistable! Capricorn has │
│ something important to say! │
│ │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Horoscopes By Manfred! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ │
│ Sagittarius [Nov 22 - Dec 21] Highlights are trips/visits and possibly a │
│ surprise soon. Aura of sensuality is present along with abundance of │
│ sex appeal. The week is accented with spirituality & the ability to see │
│ things as they really are! Aries, Libra has something important to say! │
│ │
│ Capricorn [Dec 23 - Jan 19] You'll find someone you are attracted to is │
│ involved, could inspire you. This week would be a good time to get │
│ reacquainted with something you've set aside for awhile. There is │
│ something you've been putting off, it's time to take care of now. Cancer │
│ wants something from you. │
│ │
│ Aquarius [Jan 20 - Feb 18] Your search for love waits down the road a bit. │
│ Be Patient! Looks like that purchase is now possible, go ahead, Enjoy! A │
│ financial adjustment is being considered that will substantially benefit │
│ you somehow... Capricorn, Sagittarius is in picture. │
│ │
│ Pisces [Feb. 19 - Mar. 20] Travel should be avoided at all costs. Someone │
│ who has very strong feelings for you confesses! Your search for love waits│
│ down the road a bit. Be Patient! Scorpio, Leo plays prominent role now! │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ TO DO's (Our Picks Of Places To Go & Things To Do!) │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ The Palace (Club) 1735 N. Vine (213)467-4571 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ English Acid (DANCE) 7699 Santa Monica Bl (213)969-2503 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Florentine Gardens (DANCE) 5951 Hollywood Bl (213)464-0706 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Knott's Berry Farm Buena Park CA (714)220-5200 │
│ -------------------------------------------------------------------------- │
│ Sea World San Diego CA (619)226-3901 │
│ Universal Studios Hollywood CA (818)508-9600 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Cabrillo Marine Museum 3720 Stephen While San Pedro (310)548-7562 │
│ -------------------------------------------------------------------------- │
│ CA Museum of Science 700 State Dr. Exposition Pk (213)744-7400 │
│ Hollywood Studio Museum 2100 N Highland Ave (213)874-2276 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ The Comedy Store 8433 Sunset Blvd (213)656-6225 │
│ -------------------------------------------------------------------------- │
│ The Comedy & Magic Club 1018 Hermosa Ave Hermosa Beach (213)372-1193 │
│ The Comedy Club 49 S. Pine Long Beach Ca (310)437-5326 │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
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│░░┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐░░│
│░░│ Eeeek BITS! Has been around 3 years now, and we are in 40 U.S. states│░░│
│░░│ & 14 Countries, and our readership continues to grow constantly...! │░░│
│░░├──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤░░│
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│░░│░░│ If YOU haven't thought about ELECTRONIC ADVERTISING, consider │░░│░░│
│░░│░░│ the ENTIRE MARKET you are missing out on! People who read us │░░│░░│
│░░│░░│ vary in age from 12 to 75, with the average reader being 35-45 │░░│░░│
│░░│░░│ years old, $40,000+ yearly, White-Collar job, & consider them- │░░│░░│
│░░│░░│ selves computer-literate. (Results from ongoing surveys in EB) │░░│░░│
│░░│░░│ ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── │░░│░░│
│░░│░░│ ELECTRONIC ADVERTISING: │░░│░░│
│░░│░░│ It MAKES sense and SAVES cents! │░░│░░│
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│░░│ Contact Eeeek BITS! PO Box 331, Manhattan Beach, CA 90266 - OR - │░░│
│░░│ Call B.E. BBS: 310-371-3734 (1200-9600) & Write The Editor #5. │░░│
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┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Advertise on more than 400 BBSes worldwide at a rate you can afford! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ BIZ CARD AD : $105.00 A Month 4-Issues / $1050.00 A Year 50-Issues │
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│ │
│ CHARGE TO: MC or VISA CARD # EXPIRATION DATE NAME ON CARD │
│ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ │
│ You may also order via E-Mail this way. Conatct The Editor 5 on Beyond │
│ Eternity BBS: 310-371-3734 (12-9600) or 310-370-9464 (3-2400) N 8 1 │
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│ To Place An Ad WITHOUT a credit card, Send a CHECK or MONEY ORDER │
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│ Eeeek Publishing Company │
│ P.O.Box 331, Manhattan Beach, CA. 90266 │
│ │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ The Joker's Lair # 1 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ │
│ A man was sitting by himself in a crowded bar, and a very attractive red- │
│ head walked up to his table and said, "Excuse me, I'm not trying to be │
│ forward, but I hate to sit by myself in a bar, and I'd like a little quiet │
│ conversation. May I join you?". The man eagerly accepted and offered to │
│ buy her a drink. After a few minutes, the woman jumped up and screamed │
│ at the top of her lungs: "NO I WILL *NOT* GO BACK TO YOUR HOUSE WITH YOU! │
│ WHAT KIND OF WOMAN DO YOU THINK I AM!?!?!" and stomped away from his table.│
│ │
│ The man was completely mortified and extremely confused, since he had not │
│ said anything to which she could have possibly taken offense. After about │
│ ten minutes the redhead returned to the man's table and said: "I'm sorry │
│ for causing you the embarrassment, really, but I'm a psych student, and │
│ that was an experiment in nonverbal communications. I was studying the │
│ reactions of everyone for a paper that I am working on. If you'll accept │
│ my appology, I'd like to buy you a drink to make up for the whole thing." │
│ The man thought about it for a few moments, then stood up, knocked over │
│ his chair, and screamed at the top of his lungs: │
│ │
│ "FIFTY DOLLARS!?!?!?!" │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Quotes 'N' Notes 1 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ "The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other │
│ bastard die for his." - General George Patton (1885 - 1945) │
│ │
│ "Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese." │
│ - G.K.Chesterton (1874 - 1936) │
│ │
│ "A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful │
│ than a life spent doing nothing." - George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) │
│ │
│ "Of all the wild beasts of land or sea, the wildest is woman." │
│ - Menander (342? - 291? BC) │
│ │
│ "Dogs come when called; cats take a message and get back to you." │
│ - Mary Bly │
│ │
│ "What is youth except a man or a woman before it is fit to be seen." │
│ - Evelyn Waugh (1903 - 1966) │
│ │
│ "Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't." │
│ - Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Daily Statistics, U.S. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ ON AN AVERAGE, *EVERY* SINGLE DAY IN THIS COUNTRY: │
├───────────────────────────────────────┬────────────────────────────────────┤
│ 16,300,000 people eat at McDonalds. │ 4,110 Americans start smoking! │
├───────────────────────────────────────┼────────────────────────────────────┤
│ 36,000,000 MILLION stamps are printed.│ 24 Americans die of AIDS. │
├───────────────────────────────────────┼────────────────────────────────────┤
│ 673,693 Americans have a birthday. │ 23 lbs of heroin are smuggled in. │
├───────────────────────────────────────┼────────────────────────────────────┤
│ 1,932 American kids are kidnapped. │ 868 Americans enlist in the Army │
├───────────────────────────────────────┼────────────────────────────────────┤
│ 958,904,110 photocopies are made...& │ 356,164,384 are unnecessary! │
├───────────────────────────────────────┼────────────────────────────────────┤
│ 24,274 foreigners visit the U.S. │ 1 new motion picture is released. │
├───────────────────────────────────────┼────────────────────────────────────┤
│ The president earns $547.95 (DAILY!) │ 1,562,739,726 cigarettes are sold.│
├───────────────────────────────────────┼────────────────────────────────────┤
│ 80,000,000 Aspirin tablets are taken. │ 225 people have nose jobs. │
├───────────────────────────────────────┼────────────────────────────────────┤
│ 6,082 complaints made to the B.B.B. │ 209 bankruptcy filings are made. │
├───────────────────────────────────────┴────────────────────────────────────┤
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ State or Not! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Most of us are aware of the bill Ted Kennedy is pushing to make the city │
│ of Washington D.C. a state. According to his bill it would be called the │
│ state of Columbia. It would be represented by two senators and one Con- │
│ ress person. What is the motive behind this? Some say it is because Ted │
│ Kennedy wants to make it a state because it would almost guarantee Jesse │
│ Jackson, a co-liberal, a seat in the Senate. Mr. Jackson is pushing very │
│ hard to get this bill passed along with Mr. Kennedy. One can only assume │
│ the reason is because Mr. Jackson finally found a location that just might │
│ put him into the public office he desires so badly. Others say the reason │
│ is because of Ted Kennedy's recent breech in the law and profit. That │
│ breech is of course the buying of land in Washington D.C., in which no │
│ other parties were permitted the right to bid once Ted placed his bid for │
│ this land. After getting the land Ted turned around and leased it back to │
│ the federal government at well over a million dollars a year. This is │
│ clearly a violation of ethics and is illegal under the laws of our country.│
│ Whatever the true reason for the BIG PUSH to make Washington D.C. a state, │
│ it is our opinion this is an error and would compromise the governmental │
│ process; here's why: │
│ Washington D.C. was originally established as the capital of this nation │
│ through the Residence Act of 1783. It is 10 square miles in size. The │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ State Or Not! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ forefathers of this nation felt it important to have a location that would │
│ be free of political compromise.Its population since its founding has grown│
│ in part because it annexed Georgetown. However, in the last 20 years its │
│ population has decreased rather than increased, dropping as much as 20 per │
│ cent. │
│ But even this is not the reason we believe it shouldn't become a state. The│
│ really reason is because of its economic structure. Economically it is │
│ totally dependent upon the government of the U.S. In other words, its │
│ economy is based solely upon the government and government employees. To │
│ permit it to become a state, would certainly compromise the process of │
│ government and would certainly end up having a direct effect upon their │
│ economic structure, yielding a benefit that no other state in the Union can│
│ claim. │
│ The whole point of having a national capital not be part of a state or be │
│ a state of its own was and is to maintain the business of government in an │
│ unincumbered manner as the result of laws of the state and or dictates by │
│ the state. │
│ Whatever Ted Kennedy's motive to push this bill we believe it is wrong. If│
│ you believe this also, write your senator and let him know. The only way │
│ for you to govern is make your voice heard - WRITE! │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ READER SURVEY 1993 │
│----------------------------------------------------------------------------│
│ 1: YOUR AGE GROUP IS? │
│ A: Under 25 4: HOW OFTEN DO YOU READ EEEEKS? │
│ C: 26 to 35 A: Every Single Issue! │
│ D: 36 to 45 B: 2-3 Times A Month │
│ E: 46 to 55 C: Once A Month or Less │
│ F: 55 + │
│ 5: YOUR GENDER? │
│ 2: YOUR JOB: A: Male B: Female │
│ A: White Collar/Mgmt │
│ B: Tech/Computer 6: HOW MANY BBSES DO YOU BELONG TO? │
│ C: Biz Owner/Self-Emp'd A: 1 B: 2-3 C: 4-5 D: 5+ │
│ D: Unemployed/In School │
│ F: Other:______________ 7: DO YOU READ OTHER EMAGAZINES? │
│ A: Yes B: Some C: No │
│ 3: YEARLY INCOME: │
│ A: Under $20,000 8: DO YOU CLASSIFY YOURSELF AS │
│ B: $20,000 - $39,000 COMPUTER LITERATE? │
│ C: $40,000 + A: Yes B: Somewhat C: No │
│----------------------------------------------------------------------------│
│Please Mail To: EEEEK Publishing Co. PO Box 331, Manhattan Beach, CA. 90266 │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
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┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│┌───────────────────────┐ There's A Signpost ┌──────────────────┐│
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│└───────────────────────────────────┘ └────────────────────────────────────┘│
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Idiot Savants │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ │
│ This term is used in psychology to describe persons of general low levels │
│ of intelligence who have an unusually high skill in some area. What are a │
│ few examples of idiot savants? Well look at THESE!: │
│ │
│ George, with an IQ between 60 and 70. This is the mental level of a child,│
│ and generally does not allow for much knowledge at all. Yet asked what day│
│ a particular date (ANY date, any century) fell on, he would answer within │
│ an instant and was very rarely incorrect! For instance, if asked what day │
│ of the week August 29, 1591 was - he would tell you... a Thursday. He could│
│ also perform such feats as what the 3rd Monday in May, 1936 (or ANY year) │
│ was. Charles could not add or subtract, multiply or divide, but he could │
│ tell you how old Abe Lincoln would if he were alive today...or any other │
│ historical figure for that matter! │
│ │
│ Then there was Tom Fuller, a slave in the 18th Century who was dubbed as │
│ "The Virginia Calculator". He had never learned to read nor write and had │
│ never been taught any form of arithmetic, yet it took him only 2 minutes to│
│ figure there are 47,304,000 seconds in a year & ½. 1 minute to find that a │
│ man who lived 70 years,17 days,& 12 hours was 2,210,500,000 seconds old. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Be PercentageWISE! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ 2% of American births are twins. │
│ 4% of American women do not own a single bra. │
│ 6% of American men murdered are done in by wives or girlfriends. │
│ 8% of Americans have a heart condition. │
│10% of Americans are perfectly comfortable if their house is a mess. │
│12% of Americans lose their virginity in a car. │
│14% of Americans think science/technology has done more harm than good. │
│16% of America is Alaska. │
│18% of Americans aged 25 to 29 are arrested. │
│20% of American 6th graders cannot locate the United States on a world map. │
│22% of Americans over 18 years old are single. │
│24% of Americans who commit murder never appear in a courtroom. │
│26% of American women enjoy sex more than they do money. │
│28% of Americans think that their job is very exciting. │
│30% of American women murdered are done in by their husband or boyfriend. │
│32% of America is owned by the Federal Government. │
│34% of American households have a microwave. │
│36% of American teenage girls favor the death penalty. │
│38% of American women would like to improve their buttocks. │
│40% of Americans don't think a college education is necessary to succeed. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Oh SWIFT! BITS! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ "Waitress, could I have more coffee?" Tom PERKED up. │
│ "Sorry for the mess, my maid quit..." Tom said HELPLESSly. │
│ "Even with all that studying, I flunked the exam!" Tom said TESTily. │
│ "That's no beagle, it's a mongrel!" Tom MUTTered. │
│ "My favorite films are Chinese detective flicks." Tom CHANted. │
│ "Why don't you want to go visit the tombs?" Tom asked CRYPTically. │
│ "I am afraid to fly on airliners these days." Tom said PLAINly. │
│ "This is not the world's best Martini..." Tom said DRYly. │
│ "Well it's not 100% cotton actually..." Tom said SHEEPishly. │
│ "When I die, I'm leaving you nothing!" Tom said WILLfully. │
│ "My bank retracted their 4.33% gain policy" Tom said with disINTEREST. │
│ "I will NOT hand over my savings to the government" Tom said UNREMITTINGly.│
│ "..but my biggest fear is snakes!" Tom RATTLEd off. │
│ "I think it's time to buy new underwear." Tom BRIEFed him. │
│ "Cats keep themselves very clean!" Tom said PERfectly clear. │
│ "If you don't quiet your dog I'll call the cops!" Tom HOUNDed. │
│ "I can imitate any signature you show me." Tom FORGEd. │
│ "I think Chewing tobacco is much better for you!" Tom SPAT. │
│ "I think I could really use a drink right now..." Tom WHINEd. │
│ "I bet I could get rich if I were an undertaker" Tom PLOTted. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ The Code Of Love │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ This "code" was drafted by a group of women in May of '74; married women │
│ mind you, all in the vanguard of the "lib" movement. Their goal was to │
│ create for themselves and for others, a new set of ethics, some guidelines │
│ for "liberated" conduct in modern times. To paraphrase a rather lengthy │
│ 31 point treatise and its concluding remarks, read on: │
│ │
│ "Love cannot extend itself into marriage. This is because lovers must │
│ grant everything to one another, mutually and gratuitously, without being │
│ constrained by any motive of necessity. Husband and wife, on the other │
│ hand, are bound by duty to deny each other nothing. Considering that no │
│ one should be deprived of love, being married must not prevent one from │
│ seeking it elsewhere. The only requirements of extramarital lovers is │
│ that they are honest, they are truly exciting, and they have achieved │
│ adulthood. An insatiable appetite of one partner for the other is consid- │
│ ered to be ideal. No one can be ultimately involved with two lovers at │
│ the same time. But just as nothing restricts one man from an affair with │
│ two women, nothing prevents one woman from an affair with two men." │
│ The Code of Love was written in Europe, by a panel of activists who had │
│ never heard of "Women's Lib", led by the Countess of Champagne. The really│
│ strange part is that the document is dated May 3, A.D. 1174. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ ▄███████ ██ ██ ▄███████ ▄███████▄ ▄██████▄ ▄███████ ┌──────────────│
│ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ │ ADVERTISING │
│ ██ ██▄ ▄██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ │ DOESN'T HAVE │
│ ▀██████▄ ▀██████▀ ▀██████▄ ██ ██ ███████▀ ▀██████▄ │ TO BE COSTLY!│
│ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ └──────────────│
│ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ │
│ ███████▀ ██ ███████▀ ▀███████▀ ██ ███████▀ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██│
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Put YOUR Business Card on more than 350 BBSes worldwide, at a rate you can │
│ afford! Only $105.00 a month or $1050.00 a yr (Save $210)! Mail YOUR card │
│ with a check/M.O. to: ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ EEEEK PUBLISHING CO. │ ┌──────────────┐┌──────────────┐┌──────────────┐│
│ P.O.Box 331 │ │▐ BOOK ││ AVATAR . * .││Back Alley BBS││
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└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ TV Trivials │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ │
│ NBC TV's John Chancellor told of a rash of UFO sightings. A woman │
│ who swore in a TV interview that she had seen Unidentified Flying Objects,│
│ was asked how she could be so sure that they were, in fact, unidentified │
│ flying objects. She confidently replied "They had the letters UFO on the │
│ side." │
│ │
│ Heard on the TV version of Family Feud. Richard Dawson had one of │
│ the contestants ready for the fast money round, and he asked this question│
│ "Name the month when a woman first begins to show she's pregnant..." The │
│ contestant answered "September!" To which Richard Dawson sat down and │
│ laughed for 5 full minutes with the camera still on him. │
│ │
│ On one episode of the Newlywed game, Bob Eubanks was asking the │
│ question: "Where is the strangest place you and your husband have ever │
│ made whoopie?" to which one woman answered "That would have to be in │
│ the butt Bob." The audience and Bob Eubanks died laughing. │
│ │
│ The NBC logo came over the screen, and the voice said, " This is the CBS │
│ television...damn it!" │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ The Joker's Lair # 2 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│I'm currently out of work. I've been on several interviews though! I went │
│to the hospital's blood lab, but they said I wasn't the right type. I even │
│tried being a hooker, but I didn't have it in me and a job offer at R.J. │
│went up in smoke. For a while I was a trapeze artist at the circus, but │
│then I was let go. If you hear of anything... │
│ │
│What kind of dog has 4 legs & 1 arm? ----------- A Pit Bull! │
│ │
│What do you get when you cross a Pit Bull with Lasssie? Give up yet? │
│A: A dog that rips your leg off and then runs for help. │
│ │
│Heard about Zsa Zsa's new fragrance? It's called Conviction, just slap it on│
│ │
│Where do Trekkies go to work out? At the He's Dead Gym. │
│ │
│There were these 2 country kids, sittin' in the middle o'nowhere with not a │
│thing to do. They decide to pool their money - all $1.32 of it - and one │
│goes off to the store. An hour later he comes back & hands the other a bag │
│saying "NOW we have something to do!" Opening it up the kid finds tampons. │
│The first says "See, we can go swimming, horseback riding, sailing..." │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ WeIrD nEwS 1 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ A 20 year old Akron, Ohio, woman was hospitalized for hypothermia after │
│ spending 4 days underneath a man who had died just after they had sex in │
│ the front seat of a car. "I just thought he was a hard sleeper" she said. │
│ │
│ In 1985 a Catholic Priest was arrested in Port Richey, Florida, and charged│
│ with shoplifting a package of condoms from a drug store. │
│ │
│ In 1978, a Paris Grocer stabbed his wife to death with a wedge of cheese. │
│ │
│ The Chico, California City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, │
│ setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within the city limits. │
│ │
│ A 30 year old Denver man entered a couple's apartment at 2 am, took off all│
│ his clothes and got into their waterbed with them. The couple called the │
│ police who arrived to find the intruder still sleeping on the bed. │
│ │
│ The Virginia Corrections Department decided to air-condition the death │
│ chamber at the State Penitentiary to make it more comfortable for everyone.│
│ │
│ In Wyoming you must now have an official permit to photograph rabbits. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Interesting Origins │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ │
│*Bagels were first made in 1683 in Vienna, Austria by a local Jewish │
│ baker. The baker wanted to thank the King of Poland for protecting his │
│ country from a Turkish invasion, so he made a special hard roll in the │
│ King's honor. He designed the roll in the shape of a stirrup since │
│ horseback riding was the King's favorite pastime. The unique shape and │
│ the distinctive flavor of the bagel was born. │
│ │
│*You could have been eating a "Epsicle" on a hot summer day instead of a │
│ popsicle. When Frank Epperson, at the tender age of eleven, left a │
│ mixture of powdered soda mix and water on the back porch one winter night │
│ in 1905 the popsicle was born. When Frank found the mixture the next │
│ morning it was frozen solid with the stirring stick still inside the jar, │
│ the soda frozen around it. Frank pulled the frozen soda out of the jar │
│ by the handle of the stir stick and licked it. The flavor was the same │
│ as that of the soda pop. He sat down and had the first Epperson icicle, │
│ later called the Epsicle and finally the Popsicle. Frank decided to call │
│ it the popsicle because it had been made from the powdered soda mix. In │
│ 1923 Frank patented the popsicle, eighteen years after his childhood │
│ discovery. Many enjoyed the Epsicle before the patent. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Numerology By Manfred │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Pythagoras said "The world is built upon the powers of numbers." It was he │
│ who broke down the universal numbers to 9 primary ones: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9. │
│ The method is simply to ADD. An example: 6,432,555 would be 6+4+3+2+5+5+5 │
│ which equals 30, in turn 3+0=3 - In this manner, all numbers can be broken│
│ down into a single number. The same holds true for letters and words; the │
│ values are given as such: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 │
│ A B C D E F G H I │
│ J K L M N O P Q R │
│ S T U V W X Y Z │
│ 1: The Sun; Leadership, creativity, positiveness, extrovert, The Explorer. │
│ 2: The Moon; Sensitive, domestic, emotional, musical, psychic, The Poet. │
│ 3: Jupiter; Materialistic, humorous, inquisitive, seeking, The Scientist. │
│ 4: Uranus; Eccentric, intuitive, sarcastic, fair, intelligent, The Psychic.│
│ 5: Mercury; Inquisitive, friendly, orderly, communicative, The Teacher. │
│ 6: Venus; Gentle, agreeable, refined, diplomatic, soothing, The Host. │
│ 7: Neptune; Very psychic, intelligent, mysterious, giving. The Spiritualist│
│ 8: Saturn; Cold, pessimistic, humorless, melancholic, The Cynic. │
│ 9: Mars; Active, emotional, loyal, impulsive, suspicious, The Mother. │
│ As an example, lets decipher my name: MANFRED │
│ 4156954 = 34 = 7 │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Great One-Liners │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ True progress quietly and persistently moves along without notice. │
│ "... the only purpose of diplomacy is to prolong a crisis." │
│ An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it. │
│ Economy makes men independent. │
│ Even a hawk is an eagle among crows. │
│ History books which contain no lies are extremely dull. │
│ How you look depends on where you go. │
│ I must have slipped a disk - my pack hurts. │
│ If you would keep a secret from an enemy, tell it not to a friend. │
│ It's sweet to be remembered, but it's often cheaper to be forgotten.│
│ Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage. │
│ Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone. │
│ Put your brain in gear before starting your mouth. │
│ Raising pet electric eels is gaining a lot of current popularity. │
│ Some men are discovered; others are found out. │
│ The best prophet of the future is the past. │
│ The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away. │
│ The minute a man is convinced that he is interesting, he isn't. │
│ There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear. │
│ There's so much to say but your eyes keep interrupting me. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Beyond Eternity BBS (213)-371-3734 . . . * . . . │
│. . . . . . . . . . . . . │
│ Have access to ALL Public Boards, DataBanks, On-Line Mags, & E-Mail FREE!!!│
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│ . . . ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄. . . . . . . . . │
│ . . │││││││││ . . . ▄▄▄▄▄▄ . . . . │
│. * . ▐ │││││││││ . ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ││││││││ . ▄█▄ ▄▄▄▄▄▄ . . │
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│. ▌▌▌ ▒▒▒▒ │││││││││ │ ║║║║║║║║║║║││││││││ ███████│││││▌▌▌▌▌ ║║║│
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│║║║║║║║▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▒▒▒▒▒▒│││││││▓▓▓▓▓▓║║║║║║▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒║║▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐║║║│
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│║║║║║║║▌▌░░░░░░░░░▒▒│││││││▓▓▓▓▓▓║║║║║║▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒║║▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐║║║│
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└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
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├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
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└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Unpredictables! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ │
│ "The energy necessary to propel a ship would be many times greater than │
│ that required to drive a train of cars at the same speed; hence as a means │
│ of rapid transit, flying could not begin to compete with the railroad." │
│ FROM: POPULAR SCIENCE MAGAZINE, 1897 │
│ │
│ "At present, few scientists foresee any serious or practical use for atomic│
│ energy. They regard the atom-splitting experiments as useful steps in │
│ the attempt to describe the atom more accurately, not as the key to the │
│ unlocking of any new power." │
│ FROM: FORTUNE MAGAZINE, 1938 │
│ │
│ "While theoretically and technically television may be feasible, │
│ commercially and financially I consider it an impossibility, a development │
│ of which we need waste little time dreaming." │
│ FROM: LEE DeFOREST (Father of Radio), 1926 │
│ │
│ "What can be more palpably absurd than the prospect held out of locomotives│
│ traveling twice as fast as stagecoaches." │
│ FROM: THE QUARTERLY REVIEW, 1825 │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Quotes 'N' Notes 2 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ "If I love you, what business is it │ "I was thrown out of college for │
│ of yours?" │ cheating on the metaphysics exam; │
│ -*- Johann von Goethe (1749-1832) │ I looked into the soul of the boy │
│───────────────────────────────────────┤ next to me." -*- Woody Allen │
│ "It's easier to stay out than get out"├────────────────────────────────────│
│ -*- Mark Twain │ "The reason grandparents and grand│
│───────────────────────────────────────┤ -children get along is that they │
│ "I like a woman with a head on her │ have a common enemy" -S.Levenson │
│ shoulders. I hate necks." ├────────────────────────────────────│
│ -*- Steve Martin │ "I'm going to speak my mind be- │
│───────────────────────────────────────┤ cause I have nothing to lose." │
│ "Too clever is dumb" - German Proverb │ -*- S.I.Hayakawa │
│───────────────────────────────────────┼────────────────────────────────────│
│ "It's been so long since I made love, │ "I never met a man I didn't want │
│ I can't even remember who gets tied │ to fight." -*- Lyle Alzado │
│ up." -*- Joan Rivers ├────────────────────────────────────│
│───────────────────────────────────────┤ "There is hardly anyone whose sex │
│ "I believe that pro-wrestling is clean│-life, if broadcast, would not fill │
│ and everything else in the world is │ the world at large with surprise & │
│ fixed." -*- Frank Deford │ horror." -*- W. Somerset Maugham │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Quick Quiz │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ │
│A: WHO said:"I don't need necessarily to live like this. I can be very │
│ happy living in a one-bedroom apartment, believe me."? │
│B: WHO was admitted to the Mayo Clinic for removal of one of his ribs? │
│C: WHO said: "I now have more Paternity Suits than Leisure Suits!"? │
│D: WHO admitted on NBC's Today Show, that he doesn't say "I Love You" even │
│ to his wife or grandchildren? │
│E: WHO made the slip that Christianity was "a religion for losers", and then│
│ appeared on Cable News Network to publicly apologize? │
│F: WHO said: "The cosmetic companies have missed a good bet by not at least │
│ asking me [for a product endorsement]." │
│G: WHO said: "I think marriage in a church makes sense for deeply religious │
│ people. I'm not."? │
│H: WHO said: "I suspect I would have been promiscuous if I'd been a woman."?│
│I: WHO said: "I SAID I was into PORN again, not Born again!" ? │
│ │
│ANSWERS: │
│ A: Donald Trump D: Richard Nixon G: Mikhail Baryshnikov │
│ B: Billy Graham E: Ted Turner H: Norman Mailer │
│ C: Engelbert Humperdinck F: Tammy Faye Bakker I: Billy Idol │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Boardwatch 100 Reader's Choice Bulletin Board Contest │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ B O A R D W A T C H M A G A Z I N E Announces: │
│ The Boardwatch 100 Reader's Choice Bulletin Board Contest for 1993 │
│ │
│ WIN A FREE HIGH SPEED MODEM │
│ Boardwatch Magazine is sponsoring a contest to find the 100 most popular │
│ bulletin board systems in North America - and the ONE BBS most popular │
│ among callers. The contest will run from January 1, 1993 through July 1, │
│ 1993. Winners will be announced at the Online Networking Exposition and │
│ BBS Convention (ONE BBSCON) held at the Broadmoor Hotel in Colorado │
│ Springs Colorado, August 25-29, 1993. The Boardwatch 100 list will be │
│ published in subsequent issues of Boardwatch Magazine and distributed in │
│ electronic form world-wide. │
│ │
│ PRIZES FOR BULLETIN BOARD OPERATORS │
│ 1ST PRIZE: Air fare, hotel accommodations and registration at ONE BBSCON │
│ for one is awarded to the system receiving the most votes. Additionally, │
│ the system will receive a free full-page black and white advertisement in │
│ Boardwatch Magazine for a period of three months. An award trophy will │
│ be presented at the ONE BBSCON and a feature story on their BBS will │
│ appear in a subsequent issue of the magazine.. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Boardwatch 100 Reader's Choice Bulletin Board Contest │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ TOP 10: The 10 most popular BBSes selected by the voters will each receive │
│ an award trophy during a special presentation at the Online Networking │
│ Exposition & BBS Convention (ONE BBSCON) August 25-29, 1993. Additionally, │
│ a story describing their system will appear in Boardwatch Magazine, they │
│ will be included in a special TOP TEN BBS listing in the magazine, & will │
│ receive a free 1/4 page black & white advertisement in 3 successive issues.│
│ Finally, they'll be listed in the Boardwatch 100 BBS list. │
│ │
│ TOP ONE HUNDRED: The 100 bulletin boards receiving the most votes will │
│ each be listed in the Boardwatch 100 readers choice BBS list. This list │
│ will be published in Boardwatch Magazine and freely distributed │
│ electronically on thousands of bulletin boards world-wide. │
│ │
│ PRIZES FOR VOTERS: All valid ballots submitted by voters will be entered │
│ in a random sweepstakes drawing. As of the opening date of this contest, │
│ prizes include TWO U.S. ROBOTICS COURIER DUAL STANDARD 16.8K MODEMS, two │
│ HAYES OPTIMA 14400 + FAX 144 modems, & two ZyXEL U-1496 14,400 bps modems │
│ - & more are on the way. A minimum of six valid ballots will be selected │
│ from all entries & each will receive a free modem - from the most popular │
│ modem manufacturers in the world. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Boardwatch 100 Reader's Choice Bulletin Board Contest │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ RULES FOR CALLERS: Each voter can vote once, for a single bulletin board │
│ system. Each ballot must be fully completed, & individually mailed by each │
│ voter. One vote per address, & we will verify ballots as necessary. There │
│ are three ways to vote: │
│ │
│ 1. Printout and complete this ballot and mail to: │
│ BOARDWATCH MAGAZINE │
│ READERS CHOICE BBS CONTEST │
│ 5970 South Vivian Street │
│ Littleton, CO 80127 │
│ │
│ 2. Print out, complete this ballot and FAX to (303)973-3731. │
│ │
│ 3. Or, dial the Boardwatch BBS at (303)973-4222 and complete the online │
│ ballot provided on the main menu. │
│ │
│ Balloting closes at 23:59:59, June 30, 1993. │
│ │
│ This contest is not limited to Boardwatch Magazine subscribers, and no │
│ purchase of any kind is required to participate in this contest. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Boardwatch 100 Reader's Choice Bulletin Board Contest │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ NOTE: We held this contest during 1992 and it generated 11,152 votes by │
│ the close of balloting for some 1250 different BBSes. The TOP system │
│ received about 450 votes. Your individual vote can have a tremendous │
│ impact on the outcome of this contest. Further, the odds of winning a │
│ modem in last years contest, were 1 in 1394 (8 modems awarded). │
│ │
│ RULES FOR BBS OPERATORS: Bulletin Board Operators may encourage callers │
│ to vote for their system by offering whatever inducements/encouragements │
│ they like. There is one rule to this contest for BBS operators. YOU MAY │
│ NOT HANDLE ANY VOTE AFTER THE CALLER HAS COMPLETED THE BALLOT. YOU MAY NOT│
│ HANDLE IT IN ANY WAY. │
│ │
│ You may provide callers with anything you like, including postage paid │
│ envelopes, printed matter, solicitations, etc. But once they've completed │
│ a ballot, if you touch, handle, or otherwise deal with the ballot in any │
│ way, your BBS will be disqualified from the contest without appeal or │
│ recourse. │
│ │
│ If you wish to post an electronic ballot on your BBS, you may post this │
│ file IN ITS ENTIRETY. You may post any additional information you feel │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Boardwatch 100 Reader's Choice Bulletin Board Contest │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ is appropriate, but this entire rules file must be available to all │
│ callers. │
│ │
│ Despite the fact that this contest has a minimum of rules, this one rule │
│ does cause problems each year. You cannot post online surveys or doors to │
│ allow voters to vote online. This is vote handling. You cannot accept │
│ ballots & mail or fax them in for callers. The rule of thumb is pretty │
│ clear: You can provide anything you like TO callers to induce them to vote.│
│ There is NOTHING you can accept FROM callers in any way pertaining to this │
│ ballot at all. THEY must complete the ballot & forward it to us themselves.│
│ │
│ We actually received FEDEX packages on the final day of the contest last │
│ year from BBS operators who claimed to have collected a hundred or so │
│ votes. Infractions are dealt with quite economically - the BBS is │
│ summarily disqualified without recourse or appeal. │
│ │
│ One new element introduced in the 1993 contest is date scoring. All │
│ ballots received from 1 January 1993 through 30 June 1993 will receive a │
│ date score based on the date of receipt. Date scores will range from 180 │
│ for votes received 1 January down to 1 for votes received on June 30. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Boardwatch 100 Reader's Choice Bulletin Board Contest │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ These date stamp values are cummulative for each BBS and will be used to │
│ eliminate ALL ties in the TOP 100. Since ties are quite common in this │
│ contest, it pays to get your votes in early. │
│ │
│ This contest is open to all BBSes worldwide with the sole exception of the │
│ Boardwatch Magazine BBS - which is ineligible. Commercial services such as │
│ Prodigy, America Online, CompuServe, are considered to be networks and not │
│ bulletin boards for the purposes of this contest. HOWEVER, individual │
│ forums, roundtables, or special interest areas moderated by a specific │
│ human SYSOP on those services & allowing callers to post messages in that │
│ specific area ARE considered to be bulletin boards for the purposes of this│
│ contest and may participate. │
│ │
│ BOARDWATCH MAGAZINE │
│ 5970 South Vivian Street │
│ Littleton, CO 80127 │
│ FAX: (303)973-3731. │
│ BBS: (303)973-4222 │
│ │
│ Balloting closes at 23:59:59, June 30, 1993. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Boardwatch 100 Reader's Choice Bulletin Board Contest-BALLOT │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ ***************************************************************************│
│ BOARDWATCH 100 READERS CHOICE BBS CONTEST 1993 BALLOT FORM│
│ Because Eeeeks is 24 lines per page, ballot form continues next page... │
│ ***************************************************************************│
│ Mail to: BOARDWATCH MAGAZINE READERS, CHOICE BBS CONTEST │
│ 5970 S Vivian St Littleton, CO 80127 │
│ BBS INFORMATION: │
│ TITLE OF BBS YOU NOMINATE AS BEST BBS:____________________________________ │
│ PRIMARY BBS ACCESS TELEPHONE NUMBER: ____________________________________ │
│ │
│ VOTER VERIFICATION INFORMATION: Voter information will be used to verify a │
│ selected sampling of caller ballots. Responses to certain questions will be│
│ used to produce aggregate statistical information on BBS callers to be │
│ published in Boardwatch Magazine in future issues. All information required│
│ Incomplete ballots will be discarded │
│ │
│ VOTER NAME: ______________________________________________________________ │
│ STREET ADDRESS: __________________________________________________________ │
│ CITY: _________________________________ STATE/PROVINCE: __________________ │
│ ZIP OR POSTAL CODE: ___________________ COUNTRY: _________________________ │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Boardwatch 100 Reader's Choice Bulletin Board Contest-BALLOT │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ VOTER VOICE TELEPHONE NUMBER: ____________________________________________ │
│ AGE:____ SEX: [ ] M [ ] F PROFESSION:__________________________________ │
│ COMMUNICATIONS SOFTWARE USED: ____________________________________________ │
│ HIGHEST MODEM SPEED YOUR MODEM SUPPORTS? [ ] 1200 bps [ ] 2400 bps │
│ [ ] 9600 bps [ ] 14,400 bps │
│ MODEM MANUFACTURER AND MODEL: ____________________________________________ │
│ PERSONAL COMPUTER ARCHITECTURE: [ ] MS-DOS - IBM PC/Compatable │
│ [ ] Apple Macintosh [ ] Other: (specify) ______________________________ │
│ DO YOU REGULARLY USE MICROSOFT WINDOWS? [ ] yes [ ] no │
│ HAVE YOU INSTALLED A SECOND TELEPHONE LINE FOR DATA USE? [ ] yes [ ] no │
│ ESTIMATED TOTAL NUMBER OF CALLS YOU MAKE TO ALL BBSs PER MONTH: __________ │
│ ESTIMATED AVERAGE CALL DURATION: _______ │
│ GUESTIMATE THE DATE OF YOUR FIRST MODEM CALL: ____________________________ │
│ │
│ SIGNATURE: __________________________________ DATE: ______________________ │
│ │
│ For more information on ONE BBSCON '93 - call (303)693-5253 voice or the │
│ ONE BBSCON BBS at (303)693-5432. For more information about Boardwatch │
│ Magazine, dial (303)973-4222 by modem To subscribe by voice using MC/Visa │
│ (800)933-6038. Boardwatch Magazine is published monthly at $36 per year. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Signs Of The Times │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ "Some People Want to Change The World... We just want to change your oil." │
│ -> Seen on a billboard up in Northern California │
│ │
│ "I brake for Kids!" (underneath:) "Oh No! No Brakes!" -> Lic.Plate holder │
│ │
│ "I'd fly 1000 miles to smoke a camel." -> Bumper Sticker │
│ │
│ "Have you talked to Jesus today?" -> Billboard sign over a phone booth. │
│ │
│ "MITSUBISHIT" -> seen on the back of a Mitsubishi, T was painted on well! │
│ │
│ "Bosses are like diapers - full of sh*t & on your ass" ->Bumper Sticker │
│ │
│ "My other car is a Pinto." -> Bumper Sticker seen on a Mercedes Benz │
│ │
│ " ingle ells, ingle ells! - What would the holidays be without J&B?" │
│ -> Billboard seen in December in Manhattan Beach,CA │
│ │
│ "If PRO is the opposite of CON, what is the opposite of PROgress?" │
│ -> Bumper sticker seen in Redondo Beach, CA │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Bodily Functions │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ │
│ The average adult has about eighteen square feet of skin. │
│ To say 1 word, you use over 70 muscles. │
│ Your brain weighs approximately 3 pounds, all but 10 ounces is water. │
│ Your brain uses less power than a 100-watt bulb. │
│ If you stub your toe, your brain will register pain in 1/50 of a second. │
│ It takes about 150 days for fingernails to grow from cuticles to fingertips│
│ New Freckles generally stop appearing after age 20. │
│ It takes around 200,000 frowns to make a permanent wrinkle. │
│ There are over 200 taste buds on each small bump on your tongue. │
│ Women have a more developed sense of smell than men. │
│ Bone is about four times stronger than steel. It can endure 24,000 │
│ pounds of pressure per square inch. │
│ The cartilage in your nose doesn't stop growing. Expect it to grow one │
│ half inch longer and wider as you age. │
│ While you're resting, the air you breathe passes through your nose at │
│ about four miles per hour. At this rate you breathe over 400 │
│ gallons of air every hour. │
│ The average man shrinks about 1" between ages 30 & 70, In the same period │
│ the average woman shrinks 2". │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ \/ More Than 2.7 Million Calls! Los Angeles (213) 933-4050 /\ │
│ /\ Pasadena (213) 227-9724 Long Beach (213) 564-0695 \/ │
│ \/ Torrance (310) 674-4210 Whittier (310) 421-0253 /\ │
│ /\ Canoga Park (818) 909-0451 Pico Rivera (818) 571-5524 \/ │
│ \/ Pomona (818) 961-6133 Simi (818) 709-0729 /\ │
│ /\ Canyon Ctry (805) 255-7341 Thousand Oaks (805) 584-3462 \/ │
│ \/ Anaheim (714) 663-9531 Laguna Beach (714) 857-4571 /\ │
│ ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
│ │ W H E R E T H E C I T Y N E V E R S L E E P S ! │ │
│ │ ▒▒▄ ▒▒▄ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▄ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▄ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▄ ▒▒▄ ▒▒▒▒▄ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▄ │ │
│ │ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█▀▀▀▀ ▒▒█▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▒▒█▀▀▀ ▒▒█▀▀▀▀ ▒▒█ ▒▒█▒▒▒▄ ▒▒█▀▀▀▀ │ │
│ │ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▀▒▒▒▄ ▒▒█ │ │
│ │ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▀▒▒▄ ▒▒█ │ │
│ │ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒▒▒▒▄ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▄ ▒▒█ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▄ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒▒▒▒▄ │ │
│ │ ▒▒█ ▒▄ ▒▒█ ▒▒█▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▀▀▀▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█▀▀▀ │ │
│ │ ▒▒█▒▒▒█▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒▒█▀ ▒▒█ │ │
│ │ ▒▒█▒▒▒█▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒█▒▒▒█▀▀ ▒▒█ │ │
│ │ ▒▒▒█▒▒▒█▀ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▄ ▒▒▒▒▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒▒▒▒▒█ ▒▒█ ▒▒▒▒█▀▀ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▄ │ │
│ │ ▀▀▀ ▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀ │ │
│ └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
│ 70+ Lines, Online Games, Online Magazines, Many Pub Boards, Databases, │
│ E-Mail, Chat, Group Chat, Matching, Get-togethers, And SO Much More !! │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ OVER │
│───────────────────────────┐ 1 MILLION ┌──────────────────────────│
│ Northridge.: 818/886-0872 │ CALLS LOGGED! │ Culver City: 213/558-0145│
│ N Hollywood: 818/505-9848 │ ------------- │ Compton....: 213/532-1700│
│ Glendale...: 818/507-1365 │ │ Montebello.: 213/722-2207│
│ Agoura: 818/889-2546 ╔════╧═════════════════════╧════╗ Simi..: 805/520-7323│
│ ║ ██ █ █████▄ █████▄ ██████ ║ │
│ 9600 v.32 Dual Stnd. ║ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ▀ ║ No Sign-Up Fees │
│ (818) 886-1397 ║ ██ ██ ██▄▄█▀ ██▄▄█▀ ██▄▄▄ ║ │
│ ║ ████ ██▀▀█▄ ██▀▀█▄ ██ ║ FREE TRIAL │
│ PC Pursuit: D/CAGLE ║ ██ █ ██ ██ ██ ██ ▄ ██ ║ ~~~~~~~~~~ │
│ (818) 994-0442 ║ ██ █ ██████ ██████ ██████ ║ Adults 21+ Only │
│──────────────────────╢ LOS ANGELES ╟─────────────────────│
│ Over 10,000 IBM Files║ ▄▄▄ ▄▄▄ ▄ ▄▄▄ ▄ ▄ ▄▄▄ ▄▄▄ ║ Monthly Parties │
│ Over 2,500 Mac Files ║ █ █ █ █ █▄ █ █ █ ▀ ║ Catnet BBS Network │
│ Over 1,000 Photos ║ ▄▄█ ███ █ █ ██▄█ █▄▄ █▄▄ ║ Online Publications │
│ Over 1,400 Clip Art ║ █ █ █ █ █ ██ █ █ ║ Over 2,000 calls/day│
│ 100s Windows 3 Files ║ ▄▄█ █▄▄ █▄▄ ▄█▄ █ █ █▄▄ █▄█ ║ *Wild Group Chats!* │
│ MUCH MORE! ╚════╤═════════════════════╤════╝ Eeeeks in the DB! │
│───────────────────────────┘ * *--------------* *└──────────────────────────│
│* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * CALL US TODAY! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *│
│ * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *--------------* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ ***************** OFFICIAL U.S. DISTRIBUTION SITES: ********************* │
├───────────────────────────────┬───────────────────┬────────────────────────┤
│ W.COAST: Beyond Eternity: │ 310-371-3734 │ CALIFORNIA │
│ CHATTERBOX! BBS │ 818-995-6959 │ CALIFORNIA │
│ M.WEST: Chicago Syslink │ 708-795-4442 │ ILLINOIS (Fidonet) │
│ E.COAST: U.S.Datanet: │ 617-868-2965 │ MASSACHUSETTS │
│────────────────── OFFICIAL FOREIGN DISTRIBUTION SITES ─────────────────────│
│ Chat-Line: │ 403-299-0180 │ CANADA │
│ Trinity BBS: │ 44-392-410210 │ UNITED KINGDOM │
│ JIX BBS, ASIA: │ 81-6-351-6074 │ JAPAN │
│ World Data Exchange: │ 886-2-931-3045 │ TAIWAN │
│ ┌─────────────────────────────┴─────────┐ ┌───────┴──────────────────────┐ │
│ │REGISTERD . . CHAT-LINE BBS │ │ Other On-Line Magazines Are │ │
│ │DISTRIBUTORS . █▄ 403-299-0180 │ │ Available on Beyond Eternity │ │
│ │ONLY! . _┴_ ░░█ . .│ │ As Well: │ │
│ │ ▄▄▄▄▄ ░░░ CALGARY'S BEST │ │█▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀█│ │
│ │ \|||/ ░░░ Ages 18 & Up │ │█ Datanet Computer News █│ │
│ │ Complete █ ░░░░ ┌───┐ ┌────┐ ▒│ │█ The Underground Informer █│ │
│ │ Access To ▐▓▌▓┐ ░░░░ │ ■■├───┤ ■■■│▒▒│ │█ MONSOON Online Magazine █│ │
│ │ New & Back ▐▓▌▓└─░░░░ │■ ■│·┌─┘ │▒▒│ │█ GameMaster's Journal █│ │
│ │ Issues! ▐▓▌▓▄▄▄░░███│██▄▄█▄ │▒▒│ │█▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄█│ │
│ └───────────────────────────────────────┘ └──────────────────────────────┘ │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Dimensions In The Dark by J.L. Black │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ I contemplated what he had just said. He said that we could not, even │
│ joined together, fight this entities power. Thomas must have known the │
│ business of forming a circle would not work. He must have been │
│ grasping at straws, as I had been all evening. I was quietly waiting │
│ his recollection of the rest of his conversation with the entity. │
│ │
│ "I think he said something to the effect that we even generated his │
│ power for him. I'm not sure how this could be true." │
│ │
│ "Perhaps he meant we give him more power through our fears." │
│ │
│ "Of course that is what he meant," Thomas almost yelled, "because he │
│ seemed to gloat about his control. He also said that conquest is not │
│ only a right but also a duty. He even commented about the horror that │
│ was displayed on your face." │
│ │
│ It was not horror or terror on my face. Though I did not try to │
│ dispute this with Thomas at this moment. It was more astonishment than │
│ anything. I had felt the power of this man when I had stepped onto the │
│ porch earlier in the evening. Even then I did not recall feeling │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Dimensions In The Dark by J.L. Black │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ │
│ terror or horror, some fear, but mostly bewilderment. For at the time, │
│ I did not understand what was going on nor did I comprehend the force │
│ of the wall of power I had collided. │
│ │
│ "Then, Thomas," I questioned, "We should be able to do something about │
│ this power." │
│ │
│ "But what? We've already tried putting our power together. Or at │
│ least you and the others have tried. You could not match his power. │
│ He said we would not." │
│ │
│ "Yes, I know what he said." I stood and walked down the stairs, │
│ contemplating my thoughts, then walked back up to where Thomas remained │
│ seated. "Yes, but perhaps that too is an illusion. Perhaps it is only │
│ what he desired us to believe. Maybe he doesn't...." │
│ │
│ "Have that sort of power at all." Thomas interrupted. "I think he │
│ doesn't. He is held to the house. He told me himself that the porch │
│ was his limit, his boundary." │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Dimensions In The Dark by J.L. Black │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ "Anna would not have been on the walk by the house if this were not │
│ true Thomas. She told me she could not, or did not have the power to │
│ fight his strength. She even brought a companion, I think my father, │
│ to aid her in her strength at one point." │
│ │
│ "Okay," Thomas concluded the analysis was over. "How do we change │
│ things?" │
│ │
│ "Convincing the others to believe this is an illusion will be │
│ impossible." I looked at Thomas for suggestions. │
│ │
│ "Why? Don't you think they will understand?" │
│ │
│ "No, well yes they'll understand but I doubt if they will believe it. │
│ We've gone to them twice with different theories. Once with the theory │
│ of pulling them through the dimensional door, and then with the theory │
│ of generating a circle of love to overpower his energy. They are not │
│ about to buy this." │
│ │
│ "They might. We could try. I think we could convince them, if we put │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Dimensions In The Dark by J.L. Black │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ it to them properly." │
│ │
│ "Are you part of the House of Lords? You sounded like a politician │
│ just then." │
│ │
│ "Very funny. My country doesn't have politicians we have Statesmen." │
│ After a moment of hesitation he said with a chuckle, "We have Statesmen │
│ that just happen to sound like politicians." │
│ │
│ I did not respond to his little quip. We did not have time for small │
│ talk. Convincing these people would be impossible, of this I was │
│ certain. But we could try something else. │
│ │
│ "Thomas, I have an idea. Since the others are not going to be easily │
│ convinced, let's not convince them. Let's create another illusion for │
│ them. While their attention is drawn to it, then we can remove them │
│ from the illusion he has created." │
│ │
│ "Sounds good to me Carol, but how? And what about his power. The more │
│ we try, the more power or strength he'll exert." │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Dimensions In The Dark by J.L. Black │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ │
│ "Not if he is distracted," I said, then fell to silent contemplation. │
│ │
│ "What do you mean Carol," Thomas pulled me from my thoughts, │
│ "distracted how?" │
│ │
│ "By you." I said matter of factually. │
│ │
│ "By me," he rose now, as if in protest, " I don't understand." │
│ │
│ "It has to be you. You are the one who talked to him. You are the │
│ only one that could hear him. You must draw his attention away from │
│ the hotel and the others. While you do this, I'll try to create │
│ another illusion for them, so they can be freed." │
│ │
│ "If only we could convince them to believe none of this is real." │
│ Thomas stopped talking. │
│ │
│ "Theoretically we believe that is true. But we really have no way to │
│ test the theory." I responded. to be continued.... │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Team Eeeek: Dawning of An Age Part 14 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ The Higher Levels │
│ │
│ Floating as he was above the room, feeling his molecules slowly │
│ dissipate, the Krausmeyer realized that his perception had improved. No, │
│ more than that, his ability to see into physical entities, such as human │
│ beings, had achieved a laser-like precision and an omnipotent │
│ understanding. At the higher levels humans were exposed for what they │
│ were, quickly oscillating vibrations of light; and any "malfunction," │
│ such as anger or lack of love, could be detected by the unevenness of the │
│ pulsations. Hymie saw that the Team Eeeek conference room was bathed in │
│ hot shades of irregular reds. │
│ │
│ At the higher levels words were perceived as fluctuations in heat; and │
│ these words were sweating. But as Hymie moved out and among the lights │
│ and the heat, he discovered that he was not alone. │
│ │
│ Surrounding and riding above each human body lay a sheath of finer, │
│ higher vibrations than those of the body itself. As Hymie found one for │
│ each of the lower collections of light, he realized that they belonged to │
│ the members of Team Eeeek. These must be the "higher selves" that Sarina │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Team Eeeek: Dawning of An Age Part 14 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ had talked about. │
│ │
│ But what good did any of this do now? Carpenter, drenched in dark tones │
│ and lower vibrations, was near to being expelled from the group, and... │
│ .and now Hymie suddenly knew why! │
│ Carpenter had been protecting him! Carp had found records which proved │
│ that Hymie had broadcast sensitive information across the country! As │
│ Hymie understood it now, he had inadvertently shipped Bee's │
│ Interdisciplinary Software out in an Electronic Mail Packet! And Carp had │
│ attempted to cover up the blunder! That was what this was all about! │
│ │
│ "Humans," Hymie thought. "They worry about such meaningless things. None │
│ of it matters." From where he was, Hymie could see thousands of more │
│ interesting, more useful computer possibilities; they were all so clear, │
│ so simple. And he would have smiled off the entire affair and moved on │
│ into the higher, purer vibrations above had not he realized the │
│ importance all this had for the less enlightened pulsations below. │
│ │
│ Hymie looked to the "higher selves" hovering above each of the Team Eeeek │
│ members and tried to attract their attention. He thought that if he could │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Team Eeeek: Dawning of An Age Part 14 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ simply smile with each of them in turn, the problems below would │
│ disappear. And they would have. Except that the little man couldn't │
│ entice any of his companions to notice his presence. Oh, they knew he │
│ was there, all right; they just refused to look at him. │
│ │
│ That's when Hymie Krausmeyer, street urchin and mental deficient on the │
│ physical plane, recognized the root of human suffering. │
│ │
│ "Look!" the little man wanted to shout. "That is your brother! His │
│ distress is caused by YOUR rejection, not by his 'mistakes'!" But they │
│ wouldn't listen. All these "geniuses" that Hymie had admired and │
│ respected down below wouldn't yield a particle of their arrogance in │
│ order to relieve the unhappiness of their teammate. │
│ │
│ A great many things occurred then that the Krausmeyer would remember even │
│ at his lower vibrations. The little man found that he could reform his │
│ light into any pattern or design that he could conceive. And his growing │
│ frustration found many bizarre expressions. He somehow expected to │
│ attract his teammates with his display but their strength of obstinacy │
│ kept them focused on the petty events below. That's when the Krausmeyer │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Team Eeeek: Dawning of An Age Part 14 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ began to explode. │
│ │
│ Hymie flew out among the higher levels and threw his molecules in every │
│ direction. As they left the pull of his consciousness they took on an │
│ array of colors and intensities which excelled any pyrotechnic display │
│ the Krausmeyer had ever seen below. From the little man's perspective, │
│ the experience was one of expanding his consciousness. He realized that │
│ he hadn't "thrown" himself but had 'let go' of his mental hold on the │
│ parts of light that he had known as 'Hymie Krausmeyer.' Somewhere in │
│ passing, he knew that he could have accomplished more, travelled farther, │
│ experienced the totality of existence, if he had been able to release his │
│ passion. Yet without passion he would not have felt the need to help │
│ Carpenter. │
│ │
│ The little man focused his light, intensified it, drew it into a fine │
│ point; and with this edge he launched himself at the 'higher levels' of │
│ his teammates. As the Krausmeyer's intensity hacked at the denser │
│ collections of light, he thought that to affect them he would have to │
│ enter them - like a probe - and by lancing their fields they would be │
│ altered. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Team Eeeek: Dawning of An Age Part 14 │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Not true. His higher vibrational force merely passed through those of │
│ his physical friends without their notice. │
│ │
│ He would be forced deal with them on their levels. Matching his │
│ vibration to each in turn, the Krausmeyer flung his light at his │
│ teammates, battering them to... to... ...to do what? Hymie didn't know. │
│ But as his exertions in the lower vibrations sapped his strength, the │
│ Krausmeyer knew that he would have to have their attention before any │
│ change could occur. │
│ │
│ With that sad realization, the little man sent his vibrational field │
│ smashing into those of his friends. │
│ │
│ To be continued. │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ │
│ │
│ │
│ │
│ │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Strrrrrrrange BITS! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ He was sitting up watching television, no one else was around, when he │
│ heard the door close behind him. He turned and looked around, no one was │
│ there and the door was closed. But this man was not the first to hear │
│ something and have nothing there. Others had similar experiences as well. │
│ One man, when on watch late at night alone, heard someone walking around │
│ upstairs. Finally he got up to see who was up. He found everyone asleep. │
│ As soon as he returned to the downstairs, he heard someone walking around │
│ again. He rushed upstairs, hoping to find the person playing the joke on │
│ him. But all the others were sound asleep. No one could have gotten back │
│ into bed that quickly. │
│ Others sleeping in the dormitory complain about hearing people going up and│
│ down the stairs throughout the night. None of them ever get a full night │
│ of sound sleep. │
│ Others have said they have seen a person at night at one end of the dorm- │
│ itory. │
│ This is a classic haunt. Doors opening and closing, footsteps of someone │
│ walking up and down stairs and pacing the floor. But the place is not a │
│ likely place. It takes place in a firehouse in a residential section of │
│ Syracuse New York, 176 West Seneca Turnpike. │
│ Who is haunting, no one is certain. Some firemen believe the spirit is │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Strrrrrrrrange BITS! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ somehow related to the Indian burial ground nearby. Others believe it is │
│ probably a old fire fighter who has passed on but can't seem to give up │
│ the job. │
│ The building was built in 1927. Prior to the firehouse being built the │
│ land had great historical value. It was at one time, in the early 1700s, │
│ a stagecoach trail and drill grounds for the Revolutionary War and was once│
│ part of an American Indians' homeland. │
│ The ghost does not seem to bother anyone. He seems to have his own busi- │
│ ness to take care of and basically ignores everyone else. He does not │
│ seem to cause fear as much as he causes a disruption in the firemen's │
│ sleeping patterns. But it has happened both day and night. │
│ ──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── │
│ Our next haunting involves an apartment in New York City in the Chelsea │
│ area. People would often complain of loud parties taking place on this │
│ second floor apartment. One woman that lived below this apartment even │
│ accused the two girls living in the apartment of being prostitutes. She │
│ said she could hear men talking at all hours of the day and night and she │
│ would hear them take their shoes off and drop them on the floor. But the │
│ two girls that lived in the apartment were not prostitutes and were rarely │
│ at home when these incidents occurred. Others on the floor below said │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Strrrrrrrrange BITS! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ they could hear parties going on upstairs. Some even called the police. │
│ When the police showed up they found nothing, no party, or anything else. │
│ But this wasn't the only spot of activity. The basement also had its own │
│ experiences. Many times people have reported seeing a woman in this apart-│
│ ment when in fact no one was home or around. │
│ The two girls moved out of the second floor apartment and an couple moved │
│ in. One night the woman was in bed waiting for her husband to come home, │
│ who had to work very late that night. She heard her husband come through │
│ the front door and soon she felt someone sit down on the bed. When she │
│ rolled over to talk to her husband, there was no one there. She quickly │
│ turned on the light, and sure enough, no one was in the bedroom at all. │
│ She got up to see where husband was; but she found no one else in the │
│ apartment. She never wanted to stay in the apartment alone again. │
│ Some say it isn't haunted as much as it is a time warp. Where the past │
│ seems to hang over and cross into the present at different times. The │
│ piano music that has been heard gives many the idea that this is true. │
│ The music is of a different period of history, popular music of an era. │
│ Most of the incidents occurred at night, but a small amount of activity │
│ has been reported during the day. Another report is that the events are │
│ related to a lady who practiced black magic in the apartment. │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ (c)1993 Eeeek Publishing Company -Taghadossi/Black. Eeeek Publishing │
│ & US Datanet are mutual distributors of Eeeek BITS! & DCN! │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ BEYOND ETERNITY BBS: 310-371-3734 (12-9600) 310-370-9464 (3-2400) │
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│ is NOT Public Domain or Shareware material! │
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